This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
