HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
