Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
