She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
