Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
