I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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Brb crying the tears of my youth
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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