he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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