i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
