All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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