My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
