Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize