Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I stole a fireplace last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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