I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
