Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
