i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
