i need an iv and a liver transplant
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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