Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
