I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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