just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
