Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
