I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize