but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
