She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize