I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
