you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
