I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What a dumb baby whore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
