I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
