Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
