Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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