I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
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We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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