yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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