Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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