Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
