Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
