we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
