you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
