i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
