do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
