toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize