Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
