erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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