Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
