So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I need help removing her.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
