mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
