I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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