You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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