YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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