yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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