I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
