Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
