Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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