whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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