Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
