i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
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I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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