So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
