Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
