Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
