dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
