DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize