they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
